Further boredom relief, and a few thoughts.

A survey.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, though my brother is named after me.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? A little before Christmas.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's fuckin' awful.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pastrami

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yep.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No, I'm rather undependable and clingy.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I'm often rather earnest, actually.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fruity Pebbles.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I have zip-up boots, so no.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Face, followed quickly by hair.

15. RED OR PINK? Red.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Incompetence.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Kate.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Who is everyone?

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Barefoot and wearing blue boxers, at the moment.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My dog thumping around in his little inside area.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Cornflower blue.

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Meat in the process of being grilled on charcoal.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? Sissy.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? The person I got this from? No.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football, though I will occasionally watch baseball.

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown.

28. EYE COLOR? Green/gray.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but maybe I should.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? It changes too often depending on my mood. At the moment, lasagna.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies can have happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Gray.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. I can't get enough of it.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses, depending on the person.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? My dear friend Harvey.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Doc.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Paris 1919: Six Months That Changed The World

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I usually use a laptop trackpad. For my desktop, it's the symbol of some Russian technology firm.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I watched my recorded Chuck and Heroes to free up space on my DVR.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S): The Wizard of Oz soundtrack.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Rolling Stones.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? New York, New York.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I will only say that I am very flexible.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Buttfuck, Egypt.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I would like to see the answers a pooka would give.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? My former spouse, I met in high school. Biology. I flunked. I am currently without a significant other.

49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? What is the liquid?

50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? James Campbell, Jimmy Carter, Stephen King, Roger Ebert, Guillermo del Toro.


I am about to pursue a relationship with a woman sixteen years my senior. Reactions among my friends and acquaintances have been split precisely along gender lines. Men don't see the issue. Women believe the difference is too large, and will lead to conflicting plans and goals.


There is something interesting about a new crush. It makes me more objective in evaluating others who have had to suffer through my affections. An ex-girlfriend is entirely tolerable and even likable, now that I'm not in unrequited love with her. A young woman for whom I felt vast lust once upon a time is now exposed as boring, snobby, and the slightest bit bitchy.

The older woman in question is my sister-in-law's sister. My sister-in-law, incidentally, is my best friend here in town. She knows that I am not always kind to women, and so we had a frank, adult discussion this afternoon. I really like her sister. I really don't want her to be mad at me. I really don't want to screw up.