o_\\\

I'm looking at the two pieces I have posted here, and the two I have saved on my computer...and I think that they all suck to varying degrees. It's not that the ideas are terrible, I actually think that some of them are rather clever. It's not that the writing is terrible, I mostly cross my t's and dot my i's. It's just that the whole style is very mediocre. It's hackwork. It's not good enough to do what I'd like it to do, and it's not bad enough that I can learn from it. I just don't know what to fix, honestly.
I get online every couple of hours to look through what I have, or to try and find inspiration for something new. It never works out quite the way I want it to. I fix a few words, say something differently, even expand on my ideas, but I can't escape the fact that the more I look at my work, the more it sickens me. I don't know why I keep doing it, is it attention? Is it stress relief? Boredom?

The Friend Zone

Removed by request.

Am I fickle? Maybe.

There's a girl in my creative writing class. She's hot. She's smart. I can fake just enough literature knowledge to charm her, and boy, is that what I'd like to do.

Yet...

There's another girl. Kind of plain-jane, boring at times. Cute but not extraordinarily so. We don't know each other too well. She wouldn't qualify us as terribly close, and neither would I. I like talking to her, though, because I don't think about the other women in my life when I talk to her. I don't think about the revolving door of ex-girlfriends who are usually my interests. So that's nice. I'm not sure why it is, probably because, as I told the husband, she's novel. I hate being such a douchebag.

I wonder if it tastes green.

1 part triple sec
1 part peach schnapps
1 part Chambord® raspberry liqueur
1 part Midori® melon liqueur
1 part grapefruit juice



Mix equal parts of each alcohol over ice, and top with grapefruit juice. Shake to blend.

School

I have been putting off completing two papers for about a week. They were due on Thursday and Friday respectively. I've tried sleeping more, sleeping less, isolation myself, relying on peer pressure...nothing has made me write them. I think that I've just hit a wall, frankly. My mind isn't working right. I don't even think that this is a question of whether my outside life is affecting my school work, I think that I've had more stressful points and still done what was expected of me.

Now you can see it! Except for the good stuff...

I've kept this blog for a week or two, using it to lay out things that I couldn't tell others. In the interest of attention, though, I've removed all of the sensitive material so that I can just use this as a blog. So, ahem, 2 or 3 people who would read this, pay attention, I plan to update this often.


A sign of things to come:
http://nedroid.com/galleryimages/everythingisterrible.JPG

Barack Obama and love.

I am happy to have finally won an election.

I am absolutely, positively, helplessly, irrationally, stupidly in love.

Fisting and God's Will

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