A survey.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, though my brother is named after me.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? A little before Christmas.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's fuckin' awful.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pastrami
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yep.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No, I'm rather undependable and clingy.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I'm often rather earnest, actually.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Fruity Pebbles.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I have zip-up boots, so no.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Vanilla.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Face, followed quickly by hair.
15. RED OR PINK? Red.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Incompetence.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Kate.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Who is everyone?
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Barefoot and wearing blue boxers, at the moment.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My dog thumping around in his little inside area.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Cornflower blue.
23. FAVORITE SMELL? Meat in the process of being grilled on charcoal.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? Sissy.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? The person I got this from? No.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football, though I will occasionally watch baseball.
27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown.
28. EYE COLOR? Green/gray.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but maybe I should.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? It changes too often depending on my mood. At the moment, lasagna.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies can have happy endings.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Gray.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter. I can't get enough of it.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses, depending on the person.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? My dear friend Harvey.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Doc.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Paris 1919: Six Months That Changed The World
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I usually use a laptop trackpad. For my desktop, it's the symbol of some Russian technology firm.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I watched my recorded Chuck and Heroes to free up space on my DVR.
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S): The Wizard of Oz soundtrack.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Rolling Stones.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? New York, New York.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I will only say that I am very flexible.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Buttfuck, Egypt.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I would like to see the answers a pooka would give.
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? My former spouse, I met in high school. Biology. I flunked. I am currently without a significant other.
49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? What is the liquid?
50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? James Campbell, Jimmy Carter, Stephen King, Roger Ebert, Guillermo del Toro.
I am about to pursue a relationship with a woman sixteen years my senior. Reactions among my friends and acquaintances have been split precisely along gender lines. Men don't see the issue. Women believe the difference is too large, and will lead to conflicting plans and goals.
There is something interesting about a new crush. It makes me more objective in evaluating others who have had to suffer through my affections. An ex-girlfriend is entirely tolerable and even likable, now that I'm not in unrequited love with her. A young woman for whom I felt vast lust once upon a time is now exposed as boring, snobby, and the slightest bit bitchy.
The older woman in question is my sister-in-law's sister. My sister-in-law, incidentally, is my best friend here in town. She knows that I am not always kind to women, and so we had a frank, adult discussion this afternoon. I really like her sister. I really don't want her to be mad at me. I really don't want to screw up.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Boredom relief
One-word responses
1. Where is your cell phone? Dunno
2. Your significant other? Jack
3. Your hair? Unruly.
4. Your favorite thing? Contentment
5. Your dream last night? Married
6. Your favorite drink? Pepper
7. Your dream/goal? Importance
8. What room you are in? Living
9. Your hobby? Gaming
10. Your fear? Loneliness
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Elsewhere.
12. Where were you last night? Home
13. Muffins? Blueberry
14. Wish list item? Boots.
15. Where you grew up? Nowhere
16. Last thing you did? Homework
17. What are you wearing? Slacks
18. Your TV? Fancy.
19. Your pets? Several.
20. Friends? Casual.
21. Your life? Stuck.
22. Your mood? Grumpy.
23. Missing someone? Unfortunately.
24. Car? Dead.
25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes.
26. Your favorite store? COAS.
27. Your favorite color? Blue.
28. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier.
29. Last time you cried? December.
30. Who will resend this? James?
31. One place that I go to over and over? School.
32. One person who emails me regularly? Nigerian.
33. Favorite place to eat? Home.
34. Why you participated in this survey? Boredom.
35. What are you doing tonight? Moping.
25 Random Things
1. This past week, I've had three dreams about women I've never met.
2. I may have inadvertently gained a girlfriend this past week.
3. I know that I'm old because game rental prices seem ridiculously high.
4. I'm beginning to realize I'm too old to accomplish very many of the dreams I once had.
5. I don't miss some people I should.
6. I certainly miss people I shouldn't.
7. I regret ever allowing a nude of myself on the internet.
8. I have a severe phobia of eating in public.
9. I am deathly afraid of mice.
10. I have clearly have a thing for older women.
11. I used to be terribly, terribly flexible.
12. When I really thought about it, I figured out that I'm not moving for a better education, but for a larger pool of women.
13. Porn makes me sad.
14. I would sleep with a female professor for a grade, or with a female boss for a promotion, but I tend to think that they'd have to be real hard-up for me to be their target.
15. Current estimates put me at 10-25% homosexuality. I personally estimate my gay-factor to be 15%.
16. I think that The Golden Girls is the best TV show of the 80's.
17. Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer was pretty good for what it was. I would pay double price, however, to see Jack Burton, Monster Slayer in theaters.
18. When my could-be girlfriend asked if I wanted to do anything last night, I told her quite honestly that it was a school night. She should know this, since she teaches there.
19. I haven't spoken to the mother of my son in a month, and I very much doubt if she'll ever speak to me again unless I abandon my principles.
20. I truly think that Sex in the City is at fault for the bitchy, shallow, self-serving attitude of many older (read, 30's+) women these days.
21. I would rather have women be bitchy, shallow, and self-serving than let men walk all over them. Unless of course the man in question is me.
22. When my sister-in-law's sister visits next week, I'm going to put the moves on her. She's 40, but looks as young as the two 30 year olds I've dated recently. If an older woman who pursues younger men is a cougar, what is a younger man who pursues older women?
23. For a 3 week period toward the end of last semester, I thought I might have a future as a writer. I then realized I suck.
24. I sometimes think of leaving to where I want to go, damn the consequences.
25. My son's birth derailed everything I had planned for life. I'm glad.
1. Where is your cell phone? Dunno
2. Your significant other? Jack
3. Your hair? Unruly.
4. Your favorite thing? Contentment
5. Your dream last night? Married
6. Your favorite drink? Pepper
7. Your dream/goal? Importance
8. What room you are in? Living
9. Your hobby? Gaming
10. Your fear? Loneliness
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Elsewhere.
12. Where were you last night? Home
13. Muffins? Blueberry
14. Wish list item? Boots.
15. Where you grew up? Nowhere
16. Last thing you did? Homework
17. What are you wearing? Slacks
18. Your TV? Fancy.
19. Your pets? Several.
20. Friends? Casual.
21. Your life? Stuck.
22. Your mood? Grumpy.
23. Missing someone? Unfortunately.
24. Car? Dead.
25. Something you're not wearing? Shoes.
26. Your favorite store? COAS.
27. Your favorite color? Blue.
28. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier.
29. Last time you cried? December.
30. Who will resend this? James?
31. One place that I go to over and over? School.
32. One person who emails me regularly? Nigerian.
33. Favorite place to eat? Home.
34. Why you participated in this survey? Boredom.
35. What are you doing tonight? Moping.
25 Random Things
1. This past week, I've had three dreams about women I've never met.
2. I may have inadvertently gained a girlfriend this past week.
3. I know that I'm old because game rental prices seem ridiculously high.
4. I'm beginning to realize I'm too old to accomplish very many of the dreams I once had.
5. I don't miss some people I should.
6. I certainly miss people I shouldn't.
7. I regret ever allowing a nude of myself on the internet.
8. I have a severe phobia of eating in public.
9. I am deathly afraid of mice.
10. I have clearly have a thing for older women.
11. I used to be terribly, terribly flexible.
12. When I really thought about it, I figured out that I'm not moving for a better education, but for a larger pool of women.
13. Porn makes me sad.
14. I would sleep with a female professor for a grade, or with a female boss for a promotion, but I tend to think that they'd have to be real hard-up for me to be their target.
15. Current estimates put me at 10-25% homosexuality. I personally estimate my gay-factor to be 15%.
16. I think that The Golden Girls is the best TV show of the 80's.
17. Jack Brooks, Monster Slayer was pretty good for what it was. I would pay double price, however, to see Jack Burton, Monster Slayer in theaters.
18. When my could-be girlfriend asked if I wanted to do anything last night, I told her quite honestly that it was a school night. She should know this, since she teaches there.
19. I haven't spoken to the mother of my son in a month, and I very much doubt if she'll ever speak to me again unless I abandon my principles.
20. I truly think that Sex in the City is at fault for the bitchy, shallow, self-serving attitude of many older (read, 30's+) women these days.
21. I would rather have women be bitchy, shallow, and self-serving than let men walk all over them. Unless of course the man in question is me.
22. When my sister-in-law's sister visits next week, I'm going to put the moves on her. She's 40, but looks as young as the two 30 year olds I've dated recently. If an older woman who pursues younger men is a cougar, what is a younger man who pursues older women?
23. For a 3 week period toward the end of last semester, I thought I might have a future as a writer. I then realized I suck.
24. I sometimes think of leaving to where I want to go, damn the consequences.
25. My son's birth derailed everything I had planned for life. I'm glad.
Monday, February 2, 2009
A,B,C, X, Y, Z, Up, Down, Right, Left, Triangle, Circle, Square, R1, R2, L1, L2, RT, LT, RB, LB, White, Black, LTS, RTS.
A note before I begin:
An astute reader may notice that I have very few games in the pre-PS1/N64 era. I assure you, I think Super Mario Bros. 3 is great. Other games, like Zelda, have not aged particularly well. A lot of times, I simply haven't played or completed a game. I've completed every game on this list, often to a ridiculously detailed degree, with the exception of F-Zero GX, the last level of which is the devil's own. I've never played any Mario Kart game, because I don't like racing games with few exceptions. I've only played Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask to completion so far as Zelda games go, because I'm generally not a fan of fantasy. What I guess I'm getting at here is that a game which is "retro" is not necessarily better for it. Except for Sonic 2. Additionally, I'm very new to the current generation of consoles. I haven't played Fallout 3 or Grand Theft Auto IV, so I can't say much about how they would rank in my personal favorites.
My favorite games, in no particular order.
Suikoden II (PS1): This game will always hold a place in my favorites. It's a pretty compelling story (even if it's lifted straight from the first game), and you have a ton of characters to recruit. 108, to be exact. I lost my first copy to a move, got another for $40, which is a bargain considering it's now usually over $100.
Mass Effect (XB360): It's the video game adaptation of an alternate universe's best series of sci-fi novels. Or perhaps, it's the best sci-fi movie since Aliens. In fact, it's better to list its flaws than spend two pages on what I love about it. 1. There is jarring texture pop-in. I'm not sure if this might be fixed by installing it to my X-Box HDD or not. 2. This game is glitchy. I noticed it more on my second playthrough than on my first. I don't know if it's a result of the scale of the game creating too much work, or just BioWare dropping the ball a bit. Both Knights of the Old Republic games (More on them later) were glitchy, too.
Honorable Mention:
Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2: Knights of the Old Republic was instantly one of the best games available when it came out. Very neat story, tons of detail and side-quests, and with enough influence from the first movie to make it familiar. Knights of the Old Republic 2 could have been the best game to come out on the XBox...could have been. The game was rushed to release for the holiday season, and I mean a lot. The final product shows flashes of brilliance, but is held down by terrible glitches and awkward shortcuts. I.E., the first game has a level where you require an environmental suit. You are slow as fuck in this level. In the second game, you have a few moments where you need to use a space suit. The suit is the same, of course, and you can excuse that. However, instead of say, changing the animation as they did for all of the attacks in the game, they simply sped up the animation, which looks terribly awkward. A door which was supposed to lead to a droid factory can't even be opened. A Jedi who you were supposed to meet on a droid planet is instead found dead as an afterthought in an unrelated planet. But enough about what could have been.
Snatcher(Sega CD): It liberally borrows from Terminator and Blade Runner, while chock-full of other film and video game references. Sure, it's pretty basic, but...come on! Rick Deckard vs. Terminators! Another game worth well over $100 in its Sega CD form. I spent several weeks finding and downloading the necessary emulator, BIOS, and ROM on a 56k connection, so you can't really say I didn't pay for it.
Ocarina of Time (N64): Amazing all around. Not much to say other than that. I am only a little ashamed to admit that I stole this game from a video store just before a move.
Super Mario 64 (N64): Extremely clever and well-done. I let a woman from work borrow this game for her kid...9 years ago. She moved, and I could beat her with a stick if I ever saw her again.
Super Mario World (SNES): I loooooove this game so much, you don't even know. I borrowed it from a friend for several weeks in the early 90's, and practically cried when he asked for it back. A few years ago, when my computer had kicked the bucket and a friend lent me an old one, it had an SNES emulator, and this was the only ROM he had. Needless to say, I spent several hours a day playing it, since it was the only game that old piece of junk could run besides Doom II.
F-Zero GX (GC): This fucker is hard. I mean fuckin' super hard. I got a lot of shit from friends about going the Gamecube route when it came to the sixth console generation. Really, they were probably right. But whenever somebody would say, Gamecube is a kiddy system, I would bring up F-Zero GX. I've been playing games since I was five, and this is quite possibly the most difficult game I've ever played.
Starcraft (PC): It's what, 12 years later? The game still holds up in the most important ways. Great story and great balance. Eleventy billion Koreans can't be wrong. It seems like I've bought the "War Chest" with Starcraft and Brood War every couple of years, after losing either the disk or product code.
-Honorable Mention:
Age of Empires II (PC): I'm a history buff, so there's that. There's also making Samurai fight Vikings. So yeah.
WWF No Mercy (N64): This game came out when the WWF was still the WWF, yet it manages to remain the best wrestling game ever made. What started with WCW World Tour was perfected by No Mercy. Incredible character customization, huge roster, and great replay value. My little brother, when he was barely a teenager, knew about this game when I didn't and made me buy it for him. Well played, little man. Well played.
-Honorable Mention:
WWF/E? Smackdown (PS2): Here Comes The Pain - It allows you to do probably even more than No Mercy does, but it is not quite so user-friendly and the create-a-wrestler is less robust.
Bioshock (XB360): One of only two current-gen games on the list. Amazing production values, and fantastic story. Intuitive controls, and the game gives you the right balance between "I'm going to fuck you up because I have exploding shotgun shells and shoot electricity from my hands! I AM AS ZEUS!" and "Oh, fuck me! Quit shooting! Who turned out the lights? I set him on fire and he's still shooting me with rivets!". Its only big flaw is the lack of replay value. You can either kill or rescue the little sisters. That's about it. It would be better with a New Game+, but unfortunately, the 360 doesn't have a New Game+.
Kingdom Hearts 1 & 2 (PS2): I'm putting them together because their appeal is linked. KH2 is probably the better game, but has a slightly incoherent storyline. I love Disney, and didn't realize how much until I would chuckle or smile at the cameos. The combat is a little weak in the first game, but it has much better villains. Very good graphics, for the generation.
An astute reader may notice that I have very few games in the pre-PS1/N64 era. I assure you, I think Super Mario Bros. 3 is great. Other games, like Zelda, have not aged particularly well. A lot of times, I simply haven't played or completed a game. I've completed every game on this list, often to a ridiculously detailed degree, with the exception of F-Zero GX, the last level of which is the devil's own. I've never played any Mario Kart game, because I don't like racing games with few exceptions. I've only played Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask to completion so far as Zelda games go, because I'm generally not a fan of fantasy. What I guess I'm getting at here is that a game which is "retro" is not necessarily better for it. Except for Sonic 2. Additionally, I'm very new to the current generation of consoles. I haven't played Fallout 3 or Grand Theft Auto IV, so I can't say much about how they would rank in my personal favorites.
My favorite games, in no particular order.
Suikoden II (PS1): This game will always hold a place in my favorites. It's a pretty compelling story (even if it's lifted straight from the first game), and you have a ton of characters to recruit. 108, to be exact. I lost my first copy to a move, got another for $40, which is a bargain considering it's now usually over $100.
Mass Effect (XB360): It's the video game adaptation of an alternate universe's best series of sci-fi novels. Or perhaps, it's the best sci-fi movie since Aliens. In fact, it's better to list its flaws than spend two pages on what I love about it. 1. There is jarring texture pop-in. I'm not sure if this might be fixed by installing it to my X-Box HDD or not. 2. This game is glitchy. I noticed it more on my second playthrough than on my first. I don't know if it's a result of the scale of the game creating too much work, or just BioWare dropping the ball a bit. Both Knights of the Old Republic games (More on them later) were glitchy, too.
Honorable Mention:
Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2: Knights of the Old Republic was instantly one of the best games available when it came out. Very neat story, tons of detail and side-quests, and with enough influence from the first movie to make it familiar. Knights of the Old Republic 2 could have been the best game to come out on the XBox...could have been. The game was rushed to release for the holiday season, and I mean a lot. The final product shows flashes of brilliance, but is held down by terrible glitches and awkward shortcuts. I.E., the first game has a level where you require an environmental suit. You are slow as fuck in this level. In the second game, you have a few moments where you need to use a space suit. The suit is the same, of course, and you can excuse that. However, instead of say, changing the animation as they did for all of the attacks in the game, they simply sped up the animation, which looks terribly awkward. A door which was supposed to lead to a droid factory can't even be opened. A Jedi who you were supposed to meet on a droid planet is instead found dead as an afterthought in an unrelated planet. But enough about what could have been.
Snatcher(Sega CD): It liberally borrows from Terminator and Blade Runner, while chock-full of other film and video game references. Sure, it's pretty basic, but...come on! Rick Deckard vs. Terminators! Another game worth well over $100 in its Sega CD form. I spent several weeks finding and downloading the necessary emulator, BIOS, and ROM on a 56k connection, so you can't really say I didn't pay for it.
Ocarina of Time (N64): Amazing all around. Not much to say other than that. I am only a little ashamed to admit that I stole this game from a video store just before a move.
Super Mario 64 (N64): Extremely clever and well-done. I let a woman from work borrow this game for her kid...9 years ago. She moved, and I could beat her with a stick if I ever saw her again.
Super Mario World (SNES): I loooooove this game so much, you don't even know. I borrowed it from a friend for several weeks in the early 90's, and practically cried when he asked for it back. A few years ago, when my computer had kicked the bucket and a friend lent me an old one, it had an SNES emulator, and this was the only ROM he had. Needless to say, I spent several hours a day playing it, since it was the only game that old piece of junk could run besides Doom II.
F-Zero GX (GC): This fucker is hard. I mean fuckin' super hard. I got a lot of shit from friends about going the Gamecube route when it came to the sixth console generation. Really, they were probably right. But whenever somebody would say, Gamecube is a kiddy system, I would bring up F-Zero GX. I've been playing games since I was five, and this is quite possibly the most difficult game I've ever played.
Starcraft (PC): It's what, 12 years later? The game still holds up in the most important ways. Great story and great balance. Eleventy billion Koreans can't be wrong. It seems like I've bought the "War Chest" with Starcraft and Brood War every couple of years, after losing either the disk or product code.
-Honorable Mention:
Age of Empires II (PC): I'm a history buff, so there's that. There's also making Samurai fight Vikings. So yeah.
WWF No Mercy (N64): This game came out when the WWF was still the WWF, yet it manages to remain the best wrestling game ever made. What started with WCW World Tour was perfected by No Mercy. Incredible character customization, huge roster, and great replay value. My little brother, when he was barely a teenager, knew about this game when I didn't and made me buy it for him. Well played, little man. Well played.
-Honorable Mention:
WWF/E? Smackdown (PS2): Here Comes The Pain - It allows you to do probably even more than No Mercy does, but it is not quite so user-friendly and the create-a-wrestler is less robust.
Bioshock (XB360): One of only two current-gen games on the list. Amazing production values, and fantastic story. Intuitive controls, and the game gives you the right balance between "I'm going to fuck you up because I have exploding shotgun shells and shoot electricity from my hands! I AM AS ZEUS!" and "Oh, fuck me! Quit shooting! Who turned out the lights? I set him on fire and he's still shooting me with rivets!". Its only big flaw is the lack of replay value. You can either kill or rescue the little sisters. That's about it. It would be better with a New Game+, but unfortunately, the 360 doesn't have a New Game+.
Kingdom Hearts 1 & 2 (PS2): I'm putting them together because their appeal is linked. KH2 is probably the better game, but has a slightly incoherent storyline. I love Disney, and didn't realize how much until I would chuckle or smile at the cameos. The combat is a little weak in the first game, but it has much better villains. Very good graphics, for the generation.
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